We are putting the finishing touches to the audiobook for Vampire Vic. Unfortunately this has been going on for some time now.

The blame is ours. The voice talent has done his thing, spectacularly well. Paul Neal Rohrer is the man, you’re going to groove on his voice just as much as the story. But we are experiencing technical difficulties with the sound files. We keep submitting revisions, and the gatekeepers at Audible.com keep saying, “Nope, not quite there.”

So, we have brought in an expert, a real live sound engineer. You should expect to see the Vampire Vic audiobook for sale very soon. In the meantime, we’ve been growing beards that will not be shaved until Audible says “okay”. Seemed straightforward, but there may have been a disconnect…

Allan: So we both agreed to grow our beards, in protest to our own technical deficiencies, and as a vigil until Vampire Vic hits the audio-bookshelves.

Jason: That’s right.

Allan: And now I have a beard that looks like this:

Jason: Coming in nicely.

Allan: Not at all. I was sitting at our high school basketball game the other night when this woman handed me a coupon for a shave at the local barber shop. I thought she was handing them to all the guys in the crowd. But then she went back to her seat and resumed watching the game. I don’t even think she works there.

Jason: Don’t do it, we have an agreement.

Allan: Okay, fine, good; but then why does your beard look like this?

Jason: That’s just the way it grows.

Allan: Nicely? Shapely? Cool and dangerous?

Jason: It’s just facial hair, Allan.

Allan: Well, here’s a sketch artist’s representation of what my beard is going to look like next week:

Jason: I’m sorry.

Allan: Meanwhile, here’s what your beard is projected to look like:

Jason: Let’s keep our fingers crossed with our latest submission to Audible, huh?

Allan: Sure, except I’m going to need to cross more fingers than you, because this time next week I will be a monster, and you will be a musketeer.

Jason: You can borrow my hedge clippers just as soon as the audiobook is published.

Allan: And I’ll lend you my sword and black buckle boots for your Halloween costume party.

Jason: It’s good to be partners, isn’t it?

Allan: Usually.