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HARRIS GRAY

~ Telling You Stories

HARRIS GRAY

Monthly Archives: May 2013

Touring like (Virtual) Rock Stars

29 Wednesday May 2013

Posted by harrisgray in Vampire Vic

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Blog tour, Vampire Vic

Vampire Vic, Blog tourSo this is what the rock’n’roll lifestyle feels like. Harris Gray has been partying non-stop, at home, since May 6th. We’ve got it up, and we’re going to keep it up (full credit for that rockin’ line to fellow hardcore tourers, Loverboy), at least until July 26. You want to party (at your home) with us (while we stay at our home)? Let’s do this thing.

It’s called a blog tour, which is just rock’n’roll by a different name. Our tour organizer and virtual bus driver, Tracee Gleichner at Pump Up Your Book, has booked gigs for us with various book bloggers and online mags. You’ll see us interviewed, excerpted, spotlighted, featured and revealed – basically everything short of exposed.

You know what’s extra-ultra-super-sweet about a blog tour? You can finally be that rock’n’roll groupie, in the comfort and safety of your home. Just point, swig and click. Perhaps you own a power phone or e-pad? Then you can even leave the house, touring with us while waiting in queue to pick up the kids from school or dipping your biscotti at the local coffeeshop. Hair metal, grunge or pop rockers, think of us as you like, just jump on our e-bandwagon and join the tour.

Or, maybe you’re the type who doesn’t care to rock, but would like to win a Kindle. Then this is also the tour for you.

Vampire Vic Tour Schedule

Taking off the Pink Suit

27 Monday May 2013

Posted by harrisgray in Uncategorized

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book review, Great Gatsby

Great Gatsby, Book Review

We throw great parties here, everyone says so. Who cares if it’s a kit?

We are not in the habit of putting ourselves into the shoes of an author’s protagonist. After all we each spend much of our time arguing to readers and each other that our own protagonists are based on the other guy. Reading The Great Gatsby was done with the intent to write this review, simply a way to capitalize on a hot topic – much the way Vampire Vic started. And then we got excited and entangled, again just like with VV. Except this time there’s no dispute, we are obviously both Jay Gatsby.

First of all, who knew F. Scott F. could write? Valid assumption on our part – somebody led us to believe Gatsby was the Roaring Twenties anthem, the story of glitz, glamour and excesses. All packaging and scant content, with an early, abrupt and well-deserved expiration, the period and the book, no longer relevant. Somebody must have led us to believe that, because that’s what we thought, and we don’t just come up with ideas all by ourselves.

Turns out Gatsby is about people. Well-drawn people with timeless problems, just like you and us. Well, more like us, and that brings us back to the mirror, turning the page to get another look at Jay Gatsby and seeing Harris Gray, as played by Leo DiCaprio.

We join the story in the Plaza Hotel on a stiflingly hot New York afternoon. Tom Buchanan has just realized he’s in danger of losing Daisy’s love – you know, his readership.

Harris Gray: “Look old sport, Daisy’s found a story she loves. And at a reasonable price, only $0.99 on Kindle.”

Tom (looking a lot like a composite of John Grisham, Dan Brown and Charlaine Harris, i.e., Tom Hanks): “Nonsense. Daisy’s perfectly happy reading my stories. Ninety-nine cents? You don’t know her at all. Daisy could care less.”

Daisy (she’s hard to describe…good looking if slightly androgynous, intelligent, possibly wearing reading glasses): “Damn you Tom, I can be price conscious.”

Tom: “Look at Harris Gray, Daisy. He’s nothing but a damned swindler. Is that what you want? For crying out loud, he’s self–published.”

Harris Gray: “First of all, Thomas, for the umpteenth time, it’s they, plural. One name, two guys – get it? Secondly, Daisy, no! Don’t look at us that way! So what, we’re self-published, what’s the diff? Story is story and money’s money! Look at this suit we’re wearing—suits, plural, sorry—ain’t they the finest? Like buttah, pink buttah. The gentlemen’s shop didn’t care whether we were endorsing over a check from Scribner’s or the Amazon Kindle Select program. And neither should you! Daisy! Daisy…please, your eyes are suddenly so distant.” We paste that unruly lock of hair back behind our ear. Ears. “Honey, old sweetie sport, here, open your Kindle and lose yourself in our novel. Look, you’re already 79% complete, and you said you were lovin’ it. Remember, Daisy? Daisy…?”

But of course it’s too late now, F. Scott F. and his alter ego Tom has exposed us, right alongside poor Gatsby. Pulled back our cover, thumbed to the copyright page and pointed at the words “CreateSpace”, where “Simon & Schuster” should be. Time to climb back in our roadster and head home.

We will however part ways with Jay G. on the tragic ending. Yes, we desperately want Daisy to love us, and no, she isn’t leaving Tom. But Daisy really likes to read, and Tom just isn’t capable of fully satisfying his lady. We the self-published will go on tempting her with blog posts, tweets and free days, and Daisy will continue to dabble with us. Unlike the obsessed Gatsby, we can live with dabbling. And now that our dark secret has been revealed, we can finally take off these pink suits.

Getting Published

24 Friday May 2013

Posted by harrisgray in E-Cave

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Java Man

Getting published is the dream of every writer—and particularly writing duos, with double the mouths to feed and egos to stroke. You know you’ve arrived when you see your words in print, on the Barnes & Noble shelf, under the banner of one of the major publishing houses like HarperCollins, Simon & Schuster or Random House. There can be no better feeling.

Of course it’s one thing to hear a writer describe that moment, that sensation; but quite another to be there as it occurs. With the e-cave coughing up another cobwebbed e-treasure, we are swept up in the excitement as Harris Gray land their publisher, as thrilling as the cheetah bringing down a wildebeest when captured in high-def by a skilled nature videographer, with insightful narration voice-over. So step into the e-cave, give your eyes a moment to adjust to the light, and celebrate a remarkable achievement with Harris Gray. 

E-mails – 4 – Getting Published

Slayer entry 22-0102.9 – pirate post to HarrisGray.com

20 Monday May 2013

Posted by harrisgray in Vampire Vic

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Vampire Slayer Eugene

Eugene Vampire SlayerAs you can imagine I’ve been up to my eyeballs after all hell broke loose on the Extreme Makeover set. Who were the marketing geniuses who thought a “Re-Vamp” show would be harmless good fun? Maybe it was a wake-up call, to bump the vamps off the entertainment section and back to the obits where they belong.

Speaking of which, I hear Harris Gray took the hint and moved on to writing about something they know. Or at least, not about vamps. I’m still going to use their site to answer your questions, while I haggle with GoDaddy for my own domain. This one’s from a nice young couple in the wrong line of work.

From:
Sent: Mon May 20, 12:34 p.m.
To: Eugene TVS [EugeneTVS1@gmail.com]
Subject: Corn to Cali

Eugene,

My girlfriend & I are taking a cross-country trip. We are part-time ghost hunters hoping to make it “full time” soon. We are traveling from Iowa to California. We can’t wait to hit the haunted Queen Anne Hotel in Frisco, the Hearst Castle, & Disneyland out west. Is there anywhere else you can recommend? We would like to stop by some other places on the way there to do some Ghost Hunting, like the Stanley Hotel in Colorado. We have about three weeks total on our vacation. Any other places we should go on the way to Cali? We are so excited. Also, I am going to propose to my girlfriend at the Winchester Mansion. Talk about a -shotgun- wedding…ha ha ha.

Regards, big fans,

Tim Gravel [last name deleted to protect privacy]

Timmy,

Sounds nice. Have you thought about taking the train? You should really take the California Zephyr. There is a great little train station in Mt. Pleasant, Iowa. It will take you all the way out to San Francisco. Really a quality, relaxing ride. Super romantic. Your girlfriend will really appreciate the time together & you can truly decide if marriage is right for you. The San Diego Zoo & Sea World are both a MUST see. Stop by Manresa restaurant in Los Gatos just outside San Francisco. Amazing food & atmosphere. It is such a beautiful restaurant & a great place to propose, should you decide she is Ms. Right.

A word to the wise. Don’t call California “Cali”, the locals hate that, almost as much as they despise using “Frisco” instead on San Francisco. Don’t do that, you look like a stooge. Good luck out there & have a splendid trip.

All my best,

Eugene, VS

P.S. Ghost Hunting is for chumps. Don’t get sucked into the hype. Total sham. Except for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. Something not right about those puppets.

Vamps are everywhere, but I can’t be, so email me, I have the answers, like WebMD for everything WebMD doesn’t cover, and some that it does. For instance did you know that vamp saliva is not gluten free? One more reason to hate them.

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