Vampire Vic, Blog tourAllan: We’re announcing the winner of the Kindle Fire HD tablet in the Vampire Vic blog tour giveaway: it’s RJ Lozelle!

Jason: Big congrats to RJ.

Allan: If RJ had known the odds against her, would she have even bothered? She’s the chosen one out of 6,502 entrants – what are the odds of that happening?

Jason: One in six-thousand five hundred and two.

Allan: Really hits home when you spell it out like that. This story becomes even more compelling when you realize the drawing was completely random. There was absolutely nothing RJ could do to influence the outcome.

Jason: She could love Vampire Vic, send Harris Gray a bribe (non-refundable), and burn two V’s into her neighbor’s lawn at midnight, and be no closer to winning.

Allan: We only recommend one of those things, of course.

Jason: RJ could hold a yoga pose for thirty seconds, teach her Cavalier King Charles Spaniel to love squirrels, convince the cable company to bill her à la carte, turn water to wine, and at the end of the day, she would still just be a number in our contest.

Allan: Imagine being one of 6,502 people. For most of us this is nearly impossible to grasp.

Jason: Unless you’ve been to a sporting event, or live in a relatively large development, or ran in a charity 5K, or tried to score a Black Friday deal at Target, or—

Allan: Dwell on it too long and the earth can start to feel too big, the universe too tiny—

Jason: And the USDA’s serving sizes just right.

Allan: You know, maybe it’s not appropriate for us to assume RJ is female.

Jason: And gorgeous.

Allan: Unfortunately we forgot to request basic demographic information and pictures of all our entrants.

Jason: So we’re envisioning a raven-haired goddess.

Allan: Like Florence in the upcoming VV sequel, after her Xtreme Re-Vamp Makeover. The way Victor always has and always will picture Florence, that’s how we will see RJ.

Jason: Everyone can feel free to create their own mental image.

Allan: We’re also here to give thanks to everyone who followed our blog tour.

Jason: And condolences to the six thousand five hundred and one of you who didn’t win the Kindle.

Allan: Feel bad for them. Maybe we make the next contest merit-based, when we release Java Man in September.

Jason: But then RJ wins for sure. How about prizes for the best and worst reviews on Amazon? Like Omaha Hi-Lo poker.

Allan: Gosh I like that.