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Eugene Vampire SlayerAs you can imagine I’ve been up to my eyeballs after all hell broke loose on the Extreme Makeover set. Who were the marketing geniuses who thought a “Re-Vamp” show would be harmless good fun? Maybe it was a wake-up call, to bump the vamps off the entertainment section and back to the obits where they belong.

Speaking of which, I hear Harris Gray took the hint and moved on to writing about something they know. Or at least, not about vamps. I’m still going to use their site to answer your questions, while I haggle with GoDaddy for my own domain. This one’s from a nice young couple in the wrong line of work.

From:
Sent: Mon May 20, 12:34 p.m.
To: Eugene TVS [EugeneTVS1@gmail.com]
Subject: Corn to Cali

Eugene,

My girlfriend & I are taking a cross-country trip. We are part-time ghost hunters hoping to make it “full time” soon. We are traveling from Iowa to California. We can’t wait to hit the haunted Queen Anne Hotel in Frisco, the Hearst Castle, & Disneyland out west. Is there anywhere else you can recommend? We would like to stop by some other places on the way there to do some Ghost Hunting, like the Stanley Hotel in Colorado. We have about three weeks total on our vacation. Any other places we should go on the way to Cali? We are so excited. Also, I am going to propose to my girlfriend at the Winchester Mansion. Talk about a -shotgun- wedding…ha ha ha.

Regards, big fans,

Tim Gravel [last name deleted to protect privacy]

Timmy,

Sounds nice. Have you thought about taking the train? You should really take the California Zephyr. There is a great little train station in Mt. Pleasant, Iowa. It will take you all the way out to San Francisco. Really a quality, relaxing ride. Super romantic. Your girlfriend will really appreciate the time together & you can truly decide if marriage is right for you. The San Diego Zoo & Sea World are both a MUST see. Stop by Manresa restaurant in Los Gatos just outside San Francisco. Amazing food & atmosphere. It is such a beautiful restaurant & a great place to propose, should you decide she is Ms. Right.

A word to the wise. Don’t call California “Cali”, the locals hate that, almost as much as they despise using “Frisco” instead on San Francisco. Don’t do that, you look like a stooge. Good luck out there & have a splendid trip.

All my best,

Eugene, VS

P.S. Ghost Hunting is for chumps. Don’t get sucked into the hype. Total sham. Except for the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland. Something not right about those puppets.

Vamps are everywhere, but I can’t be, so email me, I have the answers, like WebMD for everything WebMD doesn’t cover, and some that it does. For instance did you know that vamp saliva is not gluten free? One more reason to hate them.

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